I wouldn't like to be Joss Whedon

After hearing Joss in the musical-commentary track of Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, I would expect him to look more like Alan Moore. Anyways, big fires spread through the internet as a reboot of the man's most famous franchise (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) is announced and the original creator is left out of the picture. Newcomer Whit Anderson will be in charge of the writing and, while the web's unconditional love towards Whedon makes us biased, it would be too cynical to disregard the project completely this early on. Caution is adviced, though.




Anyways, I wouldn't like to be in Joss' shoes. The man has a history of being screwed in his projects. I think that is part of what makes him the loveable loser that he is. It is also good to see that the man has developed a sense of humor about this things, as we can witness by his reaction letter:

This is a sad, sad reflection on our times, when people must feed off the carcasses of beloved stories from their youths — just because they can't think of an original idea of their own, like I did with my Avengers idea that I made up myself.


Obviously I have strong, mixed emotions about something like this. My first reaction upon hearing who was writing it was, "Whit Stillman AND Wes Anderson? This is gonna be the most sardonically adorable movie EVER." Apparently I was misinformed. Then I thought, "I'll make a mint! This is worth more than all my Toy Story residuals combined!" Apparently I am seldom informed of anything. And possibly a little slow. But seriously, are vampires even popular any more?


I always hoped that Buffy would live on even after my death. But, you know, AFTER. I don't love the idea of my creation in other hands, but I'm also well aware that many more hands than mine went into making that show what it was. And there is no legal grounds for doing anything other than sighing audibly. I can't wish people who are passionate about my little myth ill. I can, however, take this time to announce that I'm making a Batman movie. Because there's a franchise that truly needs updating. So look for The Dark Knight Rises Way Earlier Than That Other One And Also More Cheaply And In Toronto, rebooting into a theater near you.


Leave me to my pain! Sincerely, Joss Whedon.

I particularly like the idea of a Buffy reboot by Wes Anderson, but that's because I believe somewhere out there there is a parallel universe where every movie is directed by Wes Anderson. And it is a better plane than ours, a place that knows no violence or sadness beyond that of the silver screen and magical, floating shawarmas spawns randomly from the sky to provide its inhabitants with healthy nutrients. Yeah, it probably is is more than we deserve.